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Beetles

Beetles
September 8, 2010 Phil

Which state did Colorado say she had a crush on?
I don’t know but if I see her today Alaska.

I just got through boiling a beet. I boiled it for about 15 minutes and it was undercooked, to tell you the truth. About 2 minutes into the charade, the beet started to secrete its purplish blood, probably what would happen if I boiled you. Just little purple liquid smoke streams. Then more and more. I was afraid I was doing things “the wrong way”. I was also afraid for the beet. Mostly I didn’t want the lack of all that wonderful beet sauce to turn the sucker into a potato. It’s happened before, some sort of vegetable alchemy. After 15 minutes, the water was as lavender as a birthday card from your grandparents and smelled like sweet dirt. I decided it was time for a beet transfusion. I took it out with a plastic spoon, peeled it with a knife. Sliced it. Looked just like cranberry sauce at the thanksgiving table before your Uncle Harold sticks his gravy-ladened fork all over the dish and ruins it, and the rest of thanksgiving, for everyone except the tots. I put some pieces of beets in a salad, maybe like 1/16th of the beet. I just bought one, but I have beet slices coming out of my ears. Do not take that literally, it’s a manner of speaking adopted by pop conversation. I put them into a bag which i marked “beets”. This was of course done in cursive.