I am known to have a keen eye to the ground and know what the latest trends will be. People come to me for this info and I charge them multiple amounts of $ signs. But for you, since you are obviously awesome, I’m gonna give you a heads-up on what will be hott in 2K11.
1. SHOWERS will continue to be the daily go-to pick for daily cleaning across the country. Some people say BATHS will make a come back, but I say remember in 2009 when everyone said we’d go back to sponge bathing in a water basin? Lesson learned. SHOWERS are here to stay at least through fall. Everyone’s showering.
2. KINDA TRYING TO BE HEALTHY is out in 2k11. It’s either a diet of pure kombucha or White Castle. In-betweens are for weaklings. Be a leader.
4. SKIPPING THE #3. 3 is so over, duh.
5. GETTING INTO CAR ACCIDENTS BECAUSE YOUR DRINKING STARBUCKS. So in. I saw 2 of these car accidents just this week, an I wanted to post about it first so people to know I’m ahead of the game. (I also was the first to write “I’m 14 and I like this kinda music, why doesn’t my generation get it?” on a classic rock YouTube video.) But yeah, get a latte and ram into a Hyundai. Extra points if you hit someone old.
5a. STARBUCKS will start popping up in even more places. Look for them in doctor’s offices, bars, Dunkin Donuts, deserts, old movies, bad dreams and safety deposit boxes.
6. DOGS will be the most lost pet of 2011. Everytime I meet some cutting edge hotty, they are talking about how they lost their dog. Don’t want a dog cause they smell? Even easier! Just make flyers and keep them around so whenever people come over, they’ll know your lookin for Muffin. I plan on devoting every Thursday in 2011 to flyering. It’s the new Friday for lost pet flyering.
7. Adult Men wearing Roller shoes. Now that the world is filled with mostly idiots, weirdos and lazy people, a trend is totally building to try to combine all three into a superhuman form. Go with it.
8. Using Snuggies to cover up sexual acts. You can basically do it anywhere. Movie theaters, class, back of police cars, church. It’s all game now that your under that “cute blanket that’s all the rage in the midwest.” You wouldn’t have guessed it but I’m getting a love tug right now!
9. RICH COUPLES will be thankful that technological companies will continue to pump out some hi-tech-i-gizmo that’s the big craze, so you can buy it for your spouse to proove your love without having to put any thought into it.
That should keep you on top in 2011, although in my opinion 2011 is already so over.